Just in time for the internet season. Who would not want
  their very own personalized Windbag? Everyone can now afford these
  luxuries, heretofore only available to a select few. Only rarely fulfilled
  by some in the past, these are brand-new and an exact replica of a rare
  original Windbag. No expense has been spared to recreate that special
  feeling one gets from a finely crafted effluent Windbag.
  Your complete satisfaction is assured. If your Windbag
  ever fails to fulfill your expectations, we will repair or replace it free
  of charge. These are not your usual run of the mill, old dried out shrunken
  Windbags, but the new improved adult style soft and hairy, greatly
  expandable ones. They will be cherished for years to come. A genuine family
  keepsake for your children and grandchildren. Limited edition of 1000 numbered
  authentic Windbags only.
  Now you can have our fine American crafted Windbag delivered
  to the privacy of your home. Complete with illustrations and detailed instruction.
  With just a little practice anyone will be able fill their Windbag
  with grace and ease. Once you develop confidence, you can demonstrate your
  proficiency and entertain friends, neighbors and co-workers. No longer
  feel mediocre and lonely. Available in two sizes: Specify Portly
  or Jumbo.
  Prepaid orders received in the next 24 hours select from
  hundreds of free monograms.